Showing posts tagged taxes

Compromise

  • Democrat: I believe that extending the payroll tax cut will be good for the middle class and the country.
  • Republican: I agree.
  • D: Great, so you will vote for it.
  • R: Only if you will vote for an oil pipeline that you believe is bad for the country.
  • D: I don't understand. You won't vote for something you agree is good for the country unless I vote for something I think is bad for the country?
  • R: It's called compromise.

Republicans Announce Tax Cuts Cure Cancer

In an exciting new political development Republicans announced today that tax cuts cure cancer. In a series of probing questions reporters sought to determine which cancers will be cured first and how long it will take. Republican responses were a little vague on the details, but it was emphasized that cutting the capital gains tax was the most effective, immediately eliminating prostate cancer among the rich, with the effect expected to trickle down to the middle class by 2013.

A lone reporter asked why President Bush’s extensive tax cuts had not cured cancer. He was denounced as overly partisan by some Republicans, but others patiently explained that our debt was much larger now, and Rand Paul produced a chart showing that certain cancer recovery rates had improved during the Bush years.